I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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