did you get engaged???
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
