So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it's great music for shaving your balls
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
