He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
