i permit you to call me
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
