this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
