Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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