Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
