hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
