Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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