I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
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I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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