Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize