Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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