Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
