season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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