Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
