I heard we made out
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
