Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
