College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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