I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
my being single is dangerous.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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