the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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