I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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