i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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