i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
