woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
