Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
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After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
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Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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