Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
