the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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