what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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