We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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