He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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