Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize