I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
