just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
