remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
