Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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