Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
