Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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