bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
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He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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