I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
