I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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