I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
