I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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