my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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