..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
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So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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