white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
