I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
