oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
