Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
