The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
