why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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