before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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