shes about as inviting as chlamydia
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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