sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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