Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
