love makes seman taste better
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
